Old School: No Shows

By Carol McEwen,

We all know the sweet Christmas story called “the Gift of the Magi,” about the young couple who bought each other gifts for their first Christmas. He sold his pocket watch to buy her a decorative comb for her beautiful flowing hair, and she sold her hair to buy him a fob for his watch. It’s a tale of love and selflessness. 

This is a bit different, because it’s about gifts which WEREN’T given. The first story is a cautionary tale for all grandparents out there. My friend, a first-timer, buys gifts for her only grandchild throughout the year and hides them in her closet. Even though he spends plenty of time with her, she felt they’d be safe since her four-year-old grandson, Charlie, “never goes in my closet.” On a recent visit, the house grew eerily quiet and upon investigating, she found him in the closet in question. He pointed at one of the openly displayed gifts and inquired, “Is this for me?” She said, “No, it’s for a special occasion.” Very seriously, with the most sage advice anyone could offer, he looked her dead in the eye and said, “You need to find a better hiding place.” 

The second tale is one about childhood greed and was told to me by my long-time friend, Alyce. It seems that one Christmas, when she was 10, she fretted about whether she wanted a pair of roller skates or a pair of ice skates for Christmas. After she dithered a while, her mother finally laid down the law: “You need to make up your mind which you want, because I’m not buying both.” 

Alyce finally decided that she really wanted roller skates, since the Arlington climate allowed more roller skating than ice skating. But she still hadn’t committed.

As Christmas approached, her mother went shopping and left my pal at home alone one day. Ever resourceful and one of the smartest people I know, she took the opportunity to creep into the attic and check out what her mother had bought. And to her delight, she saw the snazzy roller skates she’d been hoping for. But here’s where she outsmarted herself. She came up with the scheme that she’d tell her mother she REALLY wanted ice skates, so that she’d actually get both.

Imagine her disappointment when she opened that Christmas present to find the less-than-favored ice skates. It seems her mother returned the roller skates and bought the ice skates instead. Sometimes we Old Schoolers get too smart for our own good.   

Carol McEwen is a writer for Stroll By The Bay, Mirimar Beach, Florida, and authored the weekly Old School column for the Arlington Sun Gazette/Gazette Leader. She may be reached at: carolwrites4fun@gmail.com.